Dollywood Theme Park Review

Dollywood?! Isn’t that just some old museum for that country music singer? If that is what you think of this popular theme park, then anyone who has ever visited the attraction will gladly tell you how mistaken you are. Sure, there is a nice museum dedicated to singer Dolly Parton, but this site is just the tip of the iceberg. In fact, Dollywood offers something for everyone. Country music shows do populate the numerous theaters which dot the park’s landscape. A host of other variety shows also call these theaters home. But the fun does not end there.

For shopaholics, Dollywood offers up some of the best souvenir and novelty shopping this side of the Mississippi River. Unique types of entertainment also line the streets. The kids will also find various attractions which tickle their fancy. Even the thrill seekers amongst us will discover more than a few pleasant surprises awaiting them in Dollywood’s strong lineup of rides. Most important of all, Dollywood provides good, clean fun at an affordable price. It is little surprise that the warm and friendly atmosphere which envelopes this park and surrounding Pigeon Forge invites both families and honeymooning couples in droves. And it is an even smaller surprise that anyone who visits this park inevitably leaves with a season pass in hand. (The season pass affords year-end fun at a wallet-friendly price).

While Dollywood offers something for everyone (from the country music fanatic to the nature lover), the following rides and attractions should top any visitor’s must-see list: The Rides The Thunderhead—This top-notch rollercoaster is truly “The Wooden Wonder.” With speeds up to 55 MPH and 100-foot drops, this pulse-pounding ride was dubbed “#1 wooden coaster on the planet” by Thrill Ride. A veritable match for any of its steel counterparts, Thunderhead grabs you from the first launch and never lets go until you step onto the station’s platform again, legs wobbling and lunch hopefully still intact. The coaster fits the mountainous terrain of Thunderhead gap like a glove, taking full advantage of its landscape’s natural twists and turns. But fare warning—you will have to admire the natural beauty surrounding you elsewhere, as you will be too busy hanging on for dear life as you race through the revolutionary fly-through station and into coaster history.

Mountain Slidewinder—Speaking of admiring the landscape, you will have plenty of time to do just that if you trek the long walk to this watery coaster. But rest assured, the walk is well worth the trouble. If you are worried about getting a little wet, then this ride is probably not for you. However, if you desire a unique and thrilling experience that will match that of The Thunderhead, then this is the ride for you. The breathtaking thirty-foot drop which serves as the ride’s finale is worth the price of admission alone. You will literally slide down the mountain at thrilling speeds as you negotiate the mountain’s curves and turns.

Tennessee Tornado—Do not give this looping coaster short shrift. It may be small, but this mountaintop coaster will have even the most hardened coaster critic coming back for more. The story: A mighty tornado tore through the Tennessee Mining Company. It left destruction in its wake--namely what we now know as the Tennessee Tornado. And you will truly experience what it must be like to be inside the eye of the storm as you race through the giant loop, the iron butterfly (back-to-back loops), and across the mountaintops at 70 MPH speeds. Daredevil Falls—A newer attraction which is not for the faint of heart, this ride takes you on another watery expedition. You will be taken on a non-stop boat expedition, where enthusiastic guides will make your ride a memorable one as they negotiate their way past bears, some rogue machinery, and a heart-“dropping” surprise at the end.

River Rampage—Once again, this is a ride that is not for the water-phobic. In fact, unless you would like to walk away for the duration of your stay in soaking-wet apparel, then it is probably best to make this one of the last stops of your day. But this nifty white-water rafting adventure in miniature is worth the soaking. It is one of those rides that will keep you returning again and again, as no two riding experiences are quite the same.

Honorable Mention (Blazing Fury)—One of the Dollywood classics, this unique coaster has been somewhat upstaged by the more recent and flashier coasters. But this “old reliable” still offers some gasp-worthy moments all its own. The indoor coaster is a mild ride compared to some of the others, so it is ideal for those who want a little spice in their day but are a little hesitant to board the bigger coasters. The “storyline” surrounding your ride is interesting in its own right, as you and your fellow riders are commissioned to “rescue” a nineteenth-century town ravaged by a blazing fire. At one point, you will find yourself racing head-on into a raging house inferno! Shows and Attractions Eagle Mountain Sanctuary—Switching gears, we will now pay tribute to the top shows and attractions which serve as a true testament to Dollywood’s diverse appeal. First up is the Eagle Mountain Sanctuary, a 30,000 square foot showcase which houses the country’s largest selection of bald eagles. Nary a visitor returns from this peaceful getaway who is not awe-struck by the immense natural beauty of America’s enduring symbols of freedom. Trained professionals will provide up-close glances and fascinating information about these winged wonders. Just a short distance away, the Wings of America Theatre also provides an in-depth understanding of the bald eagle and other species of birds.

Dreamland Forest Treehouse— For the visitor with kiddies in tow, this large and interactive treehouse is the primo destination for young children. It is full of games and surprises which will keep even the grumpiest kid entranced for hours. The highlights are the three-level beehive with its foam balls and the wildly popular water cannons (which are truly a “blast” of fun).

Dollywood Express—Are you tired of the hustle and bustle of city life? One trip on the Dollywood Express can equal a day at the spa. As one of the only steam train park rides in the country, this Dollywood standard provides you with twenty minutes and five miles of pure, uninterrupted serenity. You will travel beyond the park and into the beautiful mountainous terrain that truly represents the magnetic attraction of this exquisite landscape. The train is an ideal midday break for the weary foot traveler. The soothing sound of the whistle combined with the songs of local birds combine for a beautiful medley which you will carry with you for years.

Southern Gospel Music Hall of Fame—Obviously, this tucked-away site is not for everyone. If your musical tastes fall more in line with a heavy metal band or a pop idol, then you might want to skip this one. However, for those of you who hold even the slightest interest in the South’s great gospel tradition, then this small museum provides a quick and nostalgic trip down memory lane. You are serenaded by some surprisingly lifelike automaton figures as you enter the museum’s doors, and from there you proceed to a fitting and moving retrospective of some of the genre’s most enduring names. For those who crave the Gospel music of today, Dollywood’s quartet of the Kingdom Heirs will pay tribute to the classics of yesteryear and their own award-winning “new classics” of today.

Naomi & the Wood Brothers— The Backporch Theatre plays host and pays tribute to Tennessee’s storied country music background with this bluegrass band. One can tell that each and every one of the group’s five members carries a true passion and respect for the genre. Expect to hear the classics of Ralph Stanley, Flatt & Scruggs, and many more. The audience-friendly group will also take requests, so if there are any favorites that you are itching to hear, then just stop by and give a holler. Honorable Mentions (James Rogers One-Man Show and Buddy Baxter’s Bandstand USA)—The one-man comedy wonder and the spirited homage to 1950s music fever are both ideal destinations for the visitor craving a rest and something a little different. The above rides and attractions represent the park’s best, but dozens of other sites mark Dollywood as an ideal weekend getaway. You could easily spend hours just getting lost in the novelty shops, including the following highlights: Custom Glassworks, Rainbow Glass Blowing Factory, Grist Mill (with an inviting cinnamon bread aroma that will surely draw you in), Sweet Dreams Candy Shop, Music in the Valley, Valley Carriage Works, Ashley’s Photorium (where you can don 1880s costumes for a truly unique photographic souvenir), David Tallent’s Magic Shop (the tricks of the trade of Dollywood’s most famous magician), and the Dollywood Emporium (your first and last stop in the park). And, of course, a plethora of concession stands and eateries will ensure that your taste buds are having just as much fun as the rest of you.

Final analysis: Diverse, affordable, clean, friendly, minimal waiting times—The only real negative to Dollywood is that you may not have enough time to fit in everything that you want to do. But that is what the season pass is for! Final grade: A